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As Old as Time

As Old as Time - Liz Braswell

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what would happen to Disney's Beauty and the Beast if someone took all the magic out of it?



... well this book is what happens.


“I’M NOT HUNGRY!” she screamed back, rage billowing out of her more forcefully than she had imagined possible. Thinking of the triplets and their behavior hadn’t improved her mood.

“YOU’LL COME OUT OR…I’LL BREAK DOWN THE DOOR!”

“HUFF AND PUFF ALL YOU LIKE, YOU MONSTROUS WOLF!” she spat. “GO RIGHT AHEAD! IT’S YOUR CASTLE, AFTER ALL. DO WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH IT. I’M JUST YOUR PRISONER!”

“YOU CAN’T STAY IN THERE FOREVER!” the Beast roared.

“JUST WATCH ME!” Belle spat back.

“FINE! THEN GO AHEAD AND STARVE!”


This childish dialogue between Belle and the Beast basically sums up As Old as Time: a caricature of the 90’s Disney version of Beauty and the Beast, that doesn’t delve deeper into the characters or the magical world. Instead As Old as Time is full of inconsistencies, over-done, flat, two-dimensional characters, and falls way short of the Disney film.

And by being ‘just’ a retelling of Disney’s story, the author didn’t have to come up with her own characters or world-building, instead she just piggy-backed on people’s childhood nostalgia – and utterly failed.


I DNF-ed the book, I hated Belle so much, felt sorry for the Beast, was generally confused by the inconsistencies of the story, and was annoyed by the boring characters.


I didn’t quite realize that this was a retelling of Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast, and not of the original book. I just picked it up in preparation for the live-action Disney film and was utterly disappointed. The author didn’t fix Disney’s mistakes and inconsistencies, took all magic and wonder out of it, and didn't expound more on the characters or the story backdrop.


In this retelling of Disney's Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is enchanted by Belle’s mother. There was a backstory about why the Enchantress cursed the Beast (because the people of the kingdom turned against magic-users and fairy tale creatures and basically the prince - a child at the time … did nothing?). There was a mention in the book where the Beast said that he was a child when he was cursed and “what could I have done?”. But this doesn’t fix the problems the story-line has. The Enchantress’ reason for cursing the Beast was that: “there is no love in your heart at all, Prince–just like your parents…”.

BUT, the prince was an eleven-year-old boy when he was cursed because he was “selfish, spoiled and unkind”. Realistically how can a ten-year-old child learn to be unselfish and kind with no positive role models and no one to love him? That is not what happens to a child who is isolated, unloved, and turned into a hideous monster! And anyway what about other spoiled, rude, and selfish children - does the Enchantress go around arbitrarily handing our punishment?


If you think about it, a ten-year-old boy who has no parents and obviously learned from fairy tales to distrust haggard looking, old women should definitely not let the obviously-evil witch into his home!


If anything, fairy-tales taught us not to trust old women (and apples and stepmothers)!


Did the enchantress really expect the prince to learn to be kind, and caring, and loving by isolating him from the rest of the world, locking him into an enchanted castle that no one remembers, and by turning an unloved little boy into a hideous monster?

How the fuck is a child supposed to learn about kindness and generosity from a witch who cursed him and robbed him of his childhood for no good reason!

He was fucking right to turn that bitch away!



And the enchanted castle just raises soo many questions:

- Where do the original furniture go?

- Who decides which furniture stays and which is replaced by cursed servants?

- Are all furniture enchanted people? Or do the servants get sucked into the existing furniture?

- Is there sentient furniture that's not a person? And if so what happens to that furniture once the curse is lifted?

- How are the servants not majorly pissed at the beast after all those years?

- The beast grows up during his enchantment, so why doesn’t Chip grow up too? Or was he conceived during the enchantment? In that case how the fuck does a teapot conceive – and with what???

- What happens to the sentient pots of mustard and stuff when they get used up - do they die or are they replenished - and is that actually a person? If so what is the mustard made of?

- And finally, which poor soul got turned into the chamber pot?



I absolutely detested Belle in this book, and as someone who loved Belle in the Disney film, this made my disappointment so much greater. The prince is cursed for being selfish, spoiled, and unkind, but really Belle isn't any better. During the first 40% of the book Belle looks down her nose on everyone from her high horse and gives no thought to the consequences of her actions, she’s pretentious, arrogant, and condescending.

For example, when she destroys the Beast’s last chance at breaking the curse, she doesn’t take responsibility for her actions, basically she just shrugs and says: well you weren’t going to break the curse anyway so what difference does it make.

She gives “gentle insults” to the villagers and basically thinks she’s the only person with a brain in the village – not everyone has all day to read Belle! some people need to work hard to survive (this is in a time when rural France was poor and overpopulated).

And to top her arrogance off, she thinks that she’s way too good for the Beast, instead he should set his hopes for some” nice peasant girl”.

Belle is like the original hipster.

The Canard Case (The Artifactor Series Book 4)

The Canard Case (The Artifactor Series Book 4) - Honor Raconteur I've enjoyed the series so far; it's a light and fun read. However by now, the story's become a bit slow and the plot predictable. The Canard Case was rather short and felt hastily written - I mean why the Canard Case? There was no mention of this in the story...

Also, while I enjoyed Sevana's character in the start of this series - she was a strong, fun, and diverse mc - I have not seen any character growth during the four books of the Artifactor series; she is still the same as she was in the beginning, even though she has gone through life-changing events, without any character growth or development. This is too bad, as I think there is much potential to explore and to build more depth into series, instead it has stagnated.

Cybele's Secret

Cybele's Secret  - Juliet Marillier Cybele's Secret is the second book in the Wildwood series, I enjoyed this one much more than the first, [book:Wildwood Dancing|13929]. It is set mostly in Istanbul, and this exotic setting and magical world really went well together and created an amazing backdrop for this fantasy story. Thankfully my faith in Juliet Marillier is fully restored again. The characters were interesting and well done, I really enjoyed the main character Paula and the supporting characters as well.

Wildwood Dancing

Wildwood Dancing  - Juliet Marillier I have not hated a character as much as I hate Tati in a long while. She is a complete idiot and way too-stupid-to-live. Apart from the insta-love, her sheer egoistic behavior throughout the book, and thoughtlessness towards her sisters, her then literally wasting away for no good reason and almost killing herself in the process cemented my hatred for this character. Really there should be limits to stupidity, had I been her sister, I'd have washed my hands of her, good riddance in my opinion.

Unfortunately the whole story was ruined by Tati and her stupidity and by the one-dimensional villain of a cousin, who was so over-dramatically mean and overdone. We get it, he's an asshole, you don't need to rub it in our faces quite as much.

I did enjoy the story overall, my main disappointment lies with my not absolutely loving a book by Juliet Marillier. I hope that I'll enjoy the next book in the series a bit more, since there is much potential here, with interesting characters and an amazing magical world.

Chosen (The Warrior Chronicles, 1)

Chosen (The Warrior Chronicles, 1) - K.F. Breene I loved this book!

Shanti is a total awesome kick-ass character, she is a warrior and the Chosen for her people. She's on the run from an evil empire and on a mission to save her people.

I totally loved her!

The setting is fantasy with a little magic. I really enjoyed the book, Shani is awesome, there are a lot of cool and deep supporting characters, there is close to no romance, no insta-love, and a good pace.

Definitely gonna keep reading.

The Bite That Binds

The Bite That Binds - Suzanne  Wright 2.5 stars

I enjoyed the first book more or less so I continued with the second. I did not enjoy the second one as well, the negative parts from the first book - the girl on girl hate, body shaming etc. - were back in full force, even worse than the first book! Add to that Sam’s special snowflakeness was a hundred times worse than in the last book. While in the last book one was mildly reminded that Sam is suuper special and unique, in this one you get smacked in the face on every page with reminders that Sam is the most speshulest of all snowflakes evahhh.

Here Be Sexist Vampires

Here Be Sexist Vampires - Suzanne Wright 3.5 stars

I did enjoy the book, it was light and funny and Sam is tough as shit and kicks ass, such as Jared’s, the love interest; who was, as the title warns, a sexist pig. Which meant that I wanted Sam to whip his sexist ass, which she did so I'm happy.

Unfortunately, there was SO much girl on girl hate by everyone, but especially by Sam. She also frequently body shames other women, which really bothers me and took away a lot of the fun from the book and also lowered the rating for me...

The Perfect Mistress

The Perfect Mistress - Victoria Alexander Fuck this shit! I'm done with this book.

I am not going to waste my time with a misogynistic, condescending asshole as the male mc. I have better things to do. Here are a few excerpts to give you a taste of how the book goes:

She says: "Because a woman is unable to take care of herself?"
He says: "Even to a capable woman of independent nature I don't think that can be debated"

And stuff like: "Women, my dear Lady Winterset, no matter how competent, are still merely women."
& "A woman needs a guiding hand as it were from a husband or father or brother or-"

Fucking asshole.

And the female mc's response is to 'be friends'. Now I realize that was the opinion at the time, but if I'm to like a HR I don't want the male mc spouting such bullshit, and if he does the female mc should definitely not react by becoming his friend when he makes those statements and falling in love.

The rest of the book was pretty boring, there was a ghost around which could have been interesting, but the fucking insta-love ruined even that - and in this case the insta-love is soo fucking unbelievable; she only knows him because he is stodgy and wants to destroy her great-grandmother's memoirs, while trying to buy them from her he spouts misogynistic crap all the time...

Then there is the mistakes, I don't know if it's only in the kindle version, but every fifth name or so was written like Winter-set, even in the middle of the page, which was horribly annoying.

All in all I would not recommend this book, unless you want to wade through mounds of bullshit, insta-love and bad spelling.

This is how pretty much every dialogue between them goes:
She says: "You don't like intelligent women, do you?"
He says: "I admit intelligence is not something I seek in a woman."

So she responds: "Hey, let's be friends."
And he commands: "All right, but you can't do that anymore, you need a firm, guiding, male hand!!"
*sigh

The Highwayman

The Highwayman - Kerrigan Byrne I didn't enjoy this nearly as much as I should have. I found it a little too much, the heroine was too passive and just kind of did nothing for years after her childhood sweetheart died, instead of living her life she just passively let life happen to her. Then when the hero of the story kidnaps her, she only puts up a minimum of a fight, takes his word on the danger she is in without question (he is a notorious criminal) and again passively lets life happen to her. There was all too much drama and the hero sadly reminded me of another assholish male lead who has a dark past and can't let people touch him... In fact he could have been molded after Christian Grey and Edward Cullen. Which obviously was a major turn-off to me. The rest of the story was a bit too dramatic and unrealistic, I didn't get a real feel for the characters, except that Dorian has a dark past of course; and the plot twists where so obvious you saw them coming from the beginning.

If you want to read an amazing historical romance with a male hero who can't stand to be touched try [b:Wicked Intentions|7649340|Wicked Intentions (Maiden Lane, #1)|Elizabeth Hoyt|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1310933850s/7649340.jpg|10204484], if you want to read about a dark hero who seems almost irredeemable then read [b:Duke of Sin|26804433|Duke of Sin (Maiden Lane, #10)|Elizabeth Hoyt|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1464745704s/26804433.jpg|46829059], and if you're looking for a notorious villain then read [b:Scandalous Desires|11374025|Scandalous Desires (Maiden Lane, #3)|Elizabeth Hoyt|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1328337131s/11374025.jpg|14090854]. All of them have much better male heroes and a great story.

All in all I would not recommend this book, check out the Maiden Lane series by [a:Elizabeth Hoyt|16202|Elizabeth Hoyt|https://d.gr-assets.com/authors/1232234340p2/16202.jpg] instead!

Eligible

Eligible - Curtis Sittenfeld This is kinda difficult for me to review. On one hand, Pride and Prejudice is one of my all-time favorites, so I really wanted to like this retelling. On the other hand, if Eligible hadn’t been a retelling of Pride and Prejudice, I really would not have liked it at all.


I didn’t feel like the original characters were very well portrayed in this retelling, while a retelling certainly must not adhere to everything in the original story, the most important notions and characteristics should be retained in a good retelling. But most of the main characters were not justly represented, with the exception of Mrs. Bennet, Jane, and Mary; I don’t think that the true characteristics of the rest of the characters came well across.

Pride and Prejudice was as much a parody of life and society of the 18th century as a romance story; Eligible follows that by taking a critical look on contemporary life, especially reality TV and gender roles etc. But where Pride and Prejudice is a wonderful story that gives a well-written, critical, and satirical view on the, then, current times; Eligible is none of that, I found it rather shallow, and it didn’t look in depth at all of the flaws of current society.



Bingley, Chip, is a doctor who appeared on the reality TV show, Eligible (based on the Bachelor), when he, his friend Fitzwilliam Darcy, and his sister Caroline move to Cincinnati they meet the Bennet family. Jane is a yoga instructor from NYC, Liz is a journalist for the women’s magazine Mascara (based on Ms?) and also lives in NY. The rest of the Bennet sisters, who are in their twenties, still live at home with no job and no idea what to do with their future. Mrs. Bennet from Eligible is Mrs. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice, enough said. After Mr. Bennet had a heart surgery the older sisters moved back to Cincinnati to help out and save their hopeless family from ruin.



The characters:
Like I mentioned before, I didn’t feel like the main characteristics where well represented in these contemporary characters. Especially Elizabeth, called Liz in Eligible, was very disappointing for me.

Elizabeth is an amazing and admirable character in Pride and Prejudice, she is a complex and unconventional character who I simply love. Liz on the other hand is hardly interesting, not relatable, or even very likeable. And the book depicted Liz in a somewhat unflattering light, even going so far as to ridicule her:
Lydia Bennet was “The Free Spirit”, Kitty was “The Entrepreneur”, Mary was “The Scholar”, and Liz (oh, how this stung!) was “The Party Girl”.


Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who in Pride and Prejudice is a strict adherent to the rules of society of the 18th century, is modelled in Eligible (as Kathy de Burg) on Gloria Steinem - of whom I am a huge admirer.

I mean what the actual fuck? Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice contradicts those strict and conservative ideas and values that Lady Catherine represents; and Elizabeth is consequently seen as wild for it.

I mean, does the author actually see Lady Catherine as an 18th century Gloria Steinem?

From Pride and Prejudice:
Lady Catherine is far from requiring that elegance of dress in us, which becomes herself and daughter. She likes to have the distinction of rank preserved.

How the fuck does that sound like Gloria Steinem?


And, sorry, but the book cannot make me believe, that just because Liz interviews Gloria Steinem for her magazine, that that automatically makes her a strong, modern character, her character has to be portrayed that way throughout the book to make me believe that.
she felt vague embarrassment that she worked for a magazine that recommended anti-aging creams to women in their twenties

Vague embarrassment? Not good enough. That is not how I picture Elizabeth Bennet!



On to Darcy…. *sigh*
Who doesn’t like Pride and Prejudice’s Darcy? Or love the scene where he first declares his love for Elizabeth?

Well, his character, and the different in their social standing make sense in the 18th century society and do form a gulf between them that must be overcome. So his – rather unromantic – first declaration of love makes absolute sense, seen with Darcy’s character and standing in society.

It really doesn’t work in Eligible. While Darcy does come from upper class society, Liz is in no means destitute, has a good job and lives in New York.


There is no reason for Darcy to feel so superior. This is 2016 for fuck’s sake!

I like to think that we’ve moved a little passed the thinking of 18th century society of marrying out of one’s social circle!


Well Darcy’s character fits much better into 18th century society, in the context of contemporary Eligible, he comes across like one of those assholes who give negative compliments to women to pick them up in bars.
”but I as if I’m in love with you. You’re not beautiful, and you aren’t nearly as funny as you think you are. You’re a gossip fiend who tries to pass off your nosiness as anthropological interest in the human condition. And your family, obviously, is a disgrace. Yet in spite of all common sense, I can’t stop thinking about you. The time has come for us to abandon this ridiculous pretense of hate sex and admit that we’re a couple.”


image

…Great, now I have this image of Darcy portrayed by Howard stuck in my head.



And finally the romance:
Okay, in Pride and Prejudice, Darcy and Elizabeth get to know each other over a long period of time. Initially they weren’t close, but got closer to each other over time. It was realistic, it made sense given the time period, and it was a healthy portrayal of falling in love over time while getting to know each other better.

image

They knew each other a lot longer and better than most other people did their spouses before marrying them in the 18th century, where marriages of conveniences where the norm.

However, in contemporary Eligible, Liz and Darcy know each other for a much shorter amount of time than in Pride and Prejudice before getting engaged and also interact a lot less socially than in Pride and Prejudice . How does that make sense?


In fact, Liz and Darcy know each other for only a couple of weeks, wherein they hardly interact, with the exception of two parties and random run-ins in town, before they hop into bed with each other to have “hate sex” – apparently like friends with benefits without the benefits. Now I had no problem with the sex part, in fact, I thought it made sense given the context. However, that is all they see of each other; a couple of quickies and a little jogging, after which Darcy gives his declaration of love, and Liz realizes that she does have feelings for Darcy after she turns him down. I found this especially ridiculous given this day and age.


I find it really sad that in the historical novel Elizabeth and Darcy know each other for longer and much better before they get engaged than in the contemporary retelling, where they hardly know each other, fall in love, and then immediately decide to get married after a couple of weeks– without first trying out a relationship or even living together.

I mean come on, this is not 1812 people! *sigh*
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How is Pride and Prejudice more progressive, modern, and realistic in its depiction of Elizabeth and Darcy’s romance than the modern retelling Eligible!?


Racism and trans-phobia
And finally, this book tried to make me believe that it's diverse and progressive, by including transgender and black minor characters. But it takes more than superficially creating cardboard-cutout characters with no real depth or much agency, all the while sprinkling your book with casual homophobia, racism, trans-phobia, and constantly enforcing gender roles. That's more sad than anything else, especially since I got the feeling that the author was really proud to be totally inclusive or something (Hey, the Bennets are soo tolerant, they are in transgender AND interracial relationships!!)

That's not progressive or edgy!


I would not recommend this book to Pride and Prejudice fans, unless you can overlook these profound things I found so disturbing and annoying.

Wintergirls

Wintergirls - LaurieHalse Anderson
The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better.

This was such an amazing, profound, and sad read. I got sucked into the story instantly and literally couldn’t put down my kindle until I finished the book some hours later.
Lia, the protagonist, suffers from anorexia, her once-best friend Cassie dies from bulimia. The story is written in the first perspective from Lia’s view, and she takes us through her life, her emotions, and her obsession of thinness.
The only number that would be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it.

She’s been through treatment two times, but the real problem is that she doesn’t want to get better, to be healthy, and to be – in her mind – fat.
I bit, chewed, swallowed day after day and lied, lied, lied. (Who wants to recover? It took me years to get that tiny. I wasn’t sick; I was strong.) But staying strong would keep me locked up. The only way out was to shove in food until I waddled.

Anderson is a great writer, I can imagine that some people might have problems with her prosaic writing style, but for me, and especially for this story, it really works.

Lia’s perception is almost magical, and fairy-tale like; she goes through life a bit separate from the reality around her: on one hand, she worries about blacking out and running someone over with her car (“No dead ladies in the windshield. Not today.”), but at the same time, she thinks of her once-best friend dying from bulimia as:
She offered herself to the big, bad wolf and didn’t scream when he took the first bite.

With this screwed perception on reality, Lia can justify her eating disorder, she does not see it as the deadly sickness that it is.
I had figured out that my eyes were broken long before that. But that day I started to worry that the people in charge couldn’t see, either.
She is not happy with her weight, and never will, until she faces and acknowledges her sickness. Instead she resents going through treatment – the clinic which she sees as prison – where they “stuff” her full and where the staff is “whale-sized and sweaty” and the nurse is “so fat her skin was stretched tight”.


I could understand Lia, I couldn’t relate to her, but I understood her; a big part of that was the Anderson’s wonderful writing. She gives a unique perspective on the sickness, tells us how the character feels about herself, about eating, and about her view on her sickness.


With her once-inseparable best friend Cassie, both girls struggled through growing up with unrelenting body images, complicated family situations, and the increased demand of perfection at home. Cassie dies, and leaves behind Lia, who struggles with her weight, her family life, and her friend’s death.
“You’re not dead, but you’re not alive, either. You’re a wintergirl, Lia-Lia, caught in between worlds. You’re a ghost with a beating heart. Soon you’ll cross the border and be with me.

Never Enough

Never Enough - Lauren Dane Imagine this scenario:

Your dying sister names the father of her child who you’ve raised for the past 13 years. Because you’re a good person you do the right thing and track down said father of your child to let him know that he has a son. Upon meeting this man, who seems calm and charming at first, and calmly and sensitively telling him about his son, he – out of the blue – freaks out and starts yelling at you:
“I don’t give in to blackmail. I’ve dealt with whores and gold diggers plenty of times. You played me wrong, baby. We could have burned things up between the sheets. I’d have tossed some money your way. A lot easier than this bullshit.”


What a keeper right?!

I for one would definitely want someone like that around my impressionable child. *rolls eyes*


Then, after his lawyers inform you that you are not to contact him in any way (because you’re obviously the crazy one), while he’s waiting for the DNA test result, he suddenly shows up at your door unannounced and while you insult him – deservingly so:
“You are an arse. A big-headed, too-good-looking-for-his-own-good dickhead.”

And while your talking, he's standing there, not listening, and thinking like a total creep:
Well now. This hot governess of a woman was all kinds of dirty underneath. She just threw the gloves off and sent a shiver through him. He took a step closer and found himself half inside her house. Muphy Oil Soap? He breathed in deep.



That is fucking unbelievably fucking creepy right?!!!!

He's standing there sniffing her while she's mad at him for treating her like crap!


So, while you rightly put him in his place, he’s there staring at you like some creepy psycho. And when you call him on it, and are in mid-sentence, he just assaults assaults you:
And his mouth was on hers, and her words morphed into a groan


What do you do?

a) Kick him out of the house, call the police, and not let him near your son
b) Stop him, and talk to him about how this is not okay.
c) Give in, let him bulldoze all over your life, and jump him at the first possible moment








Yeah, if you guessed c, you are sadly right.


But, because this is a romance book, and he is super hot and rich, this is okay and his assaulting her is not a reason to call the police, it’s su-uper hot and steamy.


Fuck! This is why I don’t read contemporary romance books anymore.


The rest of the book doesn’t get better, the male mc continues on his emotional roller-coaster of good and bad moods, while blaming her on his major trust issues – because she doesn’t share every single fucking detail of her life with him!


But it's totally okay, he's hot AND rich!

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The Wicked Ways of a Duke

The Wicked Ways of a Duke  - Laura Lee Guhrke

 

 

 

 

 

Prudence is just getting by as a seamstress in London, so when the absent father she's never met leaves her a fortune with the condition that she need to marry to receive it, Prudence knows that she will only marry for love. Rhys de Winter, the Duke of St. Cyres, on the other hand needs to marry for money since he is flat broke, as Prudence is the richest heiress she fits the bill perfectly.

 

 

 

 

 



I couldn't really connect with either character, Rhys was such an ass for most of the book (until he unrealistically redeemed himself because this is a romance book) and it was so fucking obvious to anyone with half a brain that he was a manipulative fortune hunter.

getting Miss Abernathy to the altar was going to be easy. He settled back against the seat, smiling to himself. Like taking candy from a baby.


I didn’t like him and didn’t care enough about him to root for him or to care if he redeemed himself either. He’s the kind of person who blames everyone else for their problems, and who when they screw up, instead of putting the blame on themselves where it belongs, think the universe or whatever is against them.

How ironic that the times in his life when the truth had mattered the most, he hadn’t been believed


So you had a bitch of a mother, but the rest is on you! If you completely deceive a person and build a whole relationships on lies and deceits, they will not believe you anymore. That is not irony! That’s what happens if you lie to someone and betray them.


And Prudence, well, Prudence is like that sweet but dimwitted relation everyone has, you know who I‘m talking about. That person where you constantly think “Aww, sweetie, that’s not how life works” every time they open their mouths, that person who was probably dropped on their head a lot as a baby…Prudence is that person. She’s so fucking – unbelievably – naïve! The story wants us to believe that she’s survived on her own in London for over ten fucking years, that she has survived for 28 years without being murdered. How is it fucking possible for her to grow up with no fucking instincts and now idea how the world works?

I’m surprised you haven’t heard about me already. The news has been in all the papers, and I’m sure people have been talking about it


Yes sweetie, everyone has been fucking talking about you, you just inherited a fucking fortune and are one of the riches people in the world, chances are that he’s heard about it, especially since he is not a recluse, he is most likely LYING to you. *sigh*


So maybe the two deserve each other. But I just can’t care enough for the story, it took me a while to read this book because I was bored out of my fucking mind and just didn’t care how it ended.

Three Sinful Wishes

Three Sinful Wishes - R.G. Alexander

Meh.

This book includes three stories, which made each individual story a bit short with no character development or establishment, and lots of insta-love. The relationships and romance lacked depth and I didn't get a right feel for the character either.

The book makes a point that love from having wishes come true is twue wove and people who meet via online dating are likely psychopaths and the people who meet psychopaths instead of finding their twue wove via magical, Native American mumbo jumbo like normal people.

The Wicked Ways of a Duke

The Wicked Ways of a Duke - Laura Lee Guhrke Prudence is just getting by as a seamstress in London, so when the absent father she's never met leaves her a fortune with the condition that she need to marry to receive it, Prudence knows that she will only marry for love. Rhys de Winter, the Duke of St. Cyres, on the other hand needs to marry for money since he is flat broke, as Prudence is the richest heiress she fits the bill perfectly.


I couldn't really connect with either character, Rhys was such an ass for most of the book (until he unrealistically redeemed himself because this is a romance book) and it was so fucking obvious to anyone with half a brain that he was a manipulative fortune hunter.

getting Miss Abernathy to the altar was going to be easy. He settled back against the seat, smiling to himself. Like taking candy from a baby.

I didn’t like him and didn’t care enough about him to root for him or to care if he redeemed himself either. He’s the kind of person who blames everyone else for their problems, and who when they screw up, instead of putting the blame on themselves where it belongs, think the universe or whatever is against them.

How ironic that the times in his life when the truth had mattered the most, he hadn’t been believed

So you had a bitch of a mother, but the rest is on you! If you completely deceive a person and build a whole relationships on lies and deceits, they will not believe you anymore. That is not irony! That’s what happens if you lie to someone and betray them.


And Prudence, well, Prudence is like that sweet but dimwitted relation everyone has, you know who I‘m talking about. That person where you constantly think “Aww, sweetie, that’s not how life works” every time they open their mouths, that person who was probably dropped on their head a lot as a baby…Prudence is that person. She’s so fucking – unbelievably – naïve! The story wants us to believe that she’s survived on her own in London for over ten fucking years, that she has survived for 28 years without being murdered. How is it fucking possible for her to grow up with no fucking instincts and now idea how the world works?

I’m surprised you haven’t heard about me already. The news has been in all the papers, and I’m sure people have been talking about it

Yes sweetie, everyone has been fucking talking about you, you just inherited a fucking fortune and are one of the riches people in the world, chances are that he’s heard about it, especially since he is not a recluse, he is most likely LYING to you. *sigh*


So maybe the two deserve each other. But I just can’t care enough for the story, it took me a while to read this book because I was bored out of my fucking mind and just didn’t care how it ended.

The Perils of Pursuing a Prince

The Perils of Pursuing a Prince - Julia London I could easily have given this book two stars, the only saving grace of this book was the male mc, Rhodrick, who is utterly adorable. The female mc, Geer, was so fucking annoying and in my opinion didn’t deserve him.

So, in the previous book we learned that Greer travelled to seek her Welsh inheritance. On the way she met Mr. Percy, in the beginning of this book, we learn that Greer’s elderly traveling companion has died and she has been convinced by Mr. Percy to continue her mission, without a chaperon, in his company, while she paid for everything. Now Mr. Percy could not have been a more obvious evil villain if he had constantly twirled his evil mustache and rubbed his hands together maliciously. Greer of course notices nothing, and lets herself be manipulated and used by Mr. Percy, now I can chalk that up to her naivety, but even that has its limits. And she fucking believes his every word without question and without thinking for herself and forming an own opinion.

Well, they continue on their journey to remote Rhodrick, the Earl of Radnor and the Prince of Powys, who holds both of their inheritances. Greer is stranded there with not enough money to return to London and Rhodrick demanding proof of her identity – because she arrived with an obvious bad guy who has a bad history with Rhodrick, who understandably doesn’t’ trust either of them.

After Rhodrick saves her from Mr. Percy, instead of being grateful to him for saving her from ruin she acts childishly and immature, like refusing to eat and throwing her food on the floor, and generally acting like a five year old on an anger tantrum. She convinced herself that she is a prisoner of the “evil” Rhodrick and at her first chance to “escape” she runs off, right into a huge storm, wearing unsuitable clothes for winter, on foot, with no hope of reaching the next town! She is the TSTL kind who would cut of her nose to spite her face and doesn’t think ahead and doesn’t think for herself.

Seriously, Rhodrick saved her from an OBVIOUS bad guy and understandably wants proof of her identity before he just hands over four thousand pounds to her! He is not being unreasonable, not the most friendly sure, but he does give her place to stay. But Greer doesn’t giving him a chance, instead of actually listening to him and forming an own opinion; she acts stubborn and immature.

And this was really fucking annoying I could really have enjoy this story and the male mc is quite intriguing. But the female mc is fucking stupid and annoying.

In the beginning I found her brave, but she fast became a stupid and immature TSTL heroine who wouldn’t stop bemoaning the fact that she is such a poor prisoner to an evil beast, even though she’s fucking not. Which is so disappointing, because this book has so much potential. She didn’t get much better throughout the book, she continued to annoy me, but the male mc saved this book.

His opinion of her (at least in the beginning) match mine exactly:
”A silly young woman from London who, by all indications, has no more sense than a woodchuck?”

”I suppose I don’t think silly young women who go chasing about the Welsh countryside with men they scarcely know as being terribly disposed to improving their minds.”

He is an adorable character that you just want to hug and make everything right in the world for him. The story has a bit of a Beauty and the Beast aspect, Rhodrick has grown up hating his face and his scar hasn’t helped him either, living alone in his remote castle he’s lonely, but Greer doesn’t deserve him!

I’ll give it 3.5 stars but only because of Rhodrick.