...or Now Hiring: Mistress for 28 Year Old Self-Proclaimed Conqueror of the Universe

Surrender  - Melody Anne
He might have all the money in the world, and he might even have more power than the president of the United States, but he was still just a man. The bottom line was that he couldn’t force her into anything – no matter who he was.
If they’d been in certain foreign lands, he could probably have just shot her right there on the spot with no consequences, but she was here in the land of the free, where she was safe. Feeling as if she actually had a choice gave her hope.

Are you looking for yet another horrible ‘romance’ story about a cold, distant, emotionally damaged man, who should really be the villain of the story, and his unhealthy obsession with a naïve, stupid, young woman, who is constantly described as strong willed and independent? Well, then you have come to the right place! Here you have:

A story with a rich, handsome, cold, arrogant, dick-ish male character
He was twenty-eight years old and had conquered the universe – or thought he had.
No! He had.

Whenever he walked into his twenty-five-story office building in San Francisco, he felt a justified pride. He created jobs for hundreds of thousands of people throughout the world, gave them an income, made sure they went to bed each night with a full stomach and the security of more work to be done in the morning.
He gave so much – and unlike his soon-to-be-ex-wife, his employees were grateful and regarded him almost as a king.

When he got bored, he found another willing applicant. The line of women willing to serve him was a mile long – after all, he was Rafe Palazzo, and the world was his oyster, his playground.

Everyone practically bowed at his feet.

A man, who got hurt by one woman and came to the conclusion that all women are evil
Never again would he be used – never again would he put his heart out there to be carelessly trampled on.

It seemed all women had a purpose, and it was fueled by their greed. The richer the man, the better for them. They wanted to be taken care of, and they all had their price.

A story about a man who minimally respects his lovers
He respected some of his lovers, but it was only minimal.

A story with an underdeveloped two-dimensional female character, who is guilt ridden, young, vulnerable, helpless...and skinny
“You’re too thin.”
Arianna Harlow trembled as the man prowled around her, continuously circling her chair.

A woman who knows that that man is dangerous, but is inexplicably drawn to him anyway
His expression was far too knowing and she immediately felt the urge to flee. Something wasn’t right; something was telling her to get out while she still could.

He was a difficult man to be around while trying to maintain a distance. She could see herself wanting to spend time with him – well, if he weren’t so dang kinky.

A story about a man who is intrigued by a woman because of REASONS
“you intrigue me, Ms. Harlow. I see you try and hide beneath your ridiculous baggy clothes, and large glasses, but there’s something about you that makes me want to find out what it is you don’t want the world to see.”

A story about a man introducing a young woman to a world of excitements and exotic new thrills
“Fugu is more commonly known in the States as puffer fish or blowfish. If the chef doesn’t prepare the dish just right…it’s fatal to consume, which is part of the thrill of eating it.”

“We all seek thrills, Ari. Very few skilled chefs can leave just a tiny trace of the lethal poison on the fish”

A story about how a woman’s eyes called to a man
It was obvious that Ari wasn’t one of his typical choices. The first time he’d seen her picture, he’d passed it by, but somehow it was still on his desk after that quick perusal, and something in her pair of fine green eyes called to him, even though she tried to hide them behind thick glasses.

Arianna held an almost broken, yet still spirited look in her eyes, as though he’d just shot her beloved puppy and she were thinking of ways of seeking revenge.

A story about how a man has to learn, that this woman is special and not like the previous women he’s known
This unhappy, disillusioned fellow thought he knew what the world was about, but he had a lot to learn. Not every woman was for sale, not by a long shot.[…] Let him think what he wanted, but she wasn’t to be bought – no matter what he threw at her.

A story about the magical attraction that draws a man to a woman because REASONS
Rafe had a strict no-kissing rule, but found himself wanting to devour her naturally plump pink lips. He felt himself bending down as his will began to break.

A story about how the magic of a woman’s vagina has the power to change a man
Rafe gazed in surprise at his hand gripping Ari’s delicate arm. He’d been jostled out of his normal cool and he wasn’t ready to let her walk from the room. What startled him most was his enjoyment of it all. To be refused by this complicated woman intrigued him.

A story about how a man denies his growing feelings
He wouldn’t chase her. He just wanted to finish his meal. At least, that’s what he told himself. It was all merely a game that he must win, not a serious desire to be with the woman.

He blamed his unusual desire for the woman on his recent stint of celibacy.

A story filled with haunting tales of the character's tragic past
If only she hadn’t called her mom in panic that night.
If only she hadn’t gone to the party in the first place
If only her mother had left a few minutes later.

Now that night would haunt her, be something she’d have to live with for the rest of her life.


A story filled with all of those tropes we've loved so much before, that are totally romantic. Such as:
- emotionally deep stares
Ari finally glanced up, her eyes colliding with Mr. Palazzo’s intense stare. As hard as she tried to break the connection, she couldn’t manage to turn her head away.
- background checks
“I know everything I need to know about you, Arianna,” he replied with a slight lifting of the corner of his mouth.

It suddenly occurred to her that she’d never listed her physical address on her application.[…] Still, she wasn’t really surprised that he already knew where she lived
- ordering a woman’s meal for her
“Please have a seat, Arianna. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering."
- commanding women around
“Sit,” he commanded and watched her flinch from his cold tone.
- chauvinistic, cavemanish behavior
“I’m beginning to tire of chasing you, Ari. I said you won’t be taking the bus, so that means that you won’t. I really have no qualms about causing a scene, but since you’ve been hissing at me only beneath your breath, I take it that you do. You can either some with me willingly, or I’m going to pick you up, toss you over my shoulder and drag you back to the restaurant. It’s your choice,” he said brutally.
- creepy, rape-ish statements
“I assure you, Ms. Harlow, that if I kidnapped you, it wouldn’t be for an X-ray.”
- rape threats
“If or when I truly want to possess you, it will happen. Leave no doubt about that.”
- miscellaneous, borderline abusive threats
“You can have your small victory, but be very careful with what you say to me.”
- ‘women need a man to take care of them’ messages
No wonder the woman was too skinny. It was more obvious than ever that Ari didn’t know how to take care of herself
- saving helpless women from rapists at nightclubs
“She’s obviously, passed out on her feet, and the bastard is taking advantage of her!”
- taking aforementioned helpless woman home without her consent even though she's there with friends
“I’m taking you home!”

He strode to his car and put her on the front seat, where she quickly passed out again.
- victim blaming
Rafe was furious. What was she doing at a club on a Friday? And how had she allowed herself to get into this position? If he hadn’t been there, she could have been getting violated at that very moment. This was why she should just accept his generous offer, he told himself. She clearly wasn’t able to protect herself on her own.

...and so much more...

The writing was horrible. The characters, well, Rafe was such a condescending asshole all of the fucking time. He had absolutely no redeeming qualities, unless you count him being hot and rich which I don't, because they are neither character traits nor redeeming qualities. While the reader is constantly told how smart, strong-willed and independent Ari is, she never acts this way; she's stupid, spineless, insecure and constantly plagued by guilt. The plot devices used were equally absurd and just plain unbelievable.

Honestly, I can’t even seriously review this book. I mean it was fucking ridiculous. It should get points just for making me laugh so much. He frigging takes out an ad to find his next mistress!
Seeking full-time applicants for Palazzo Corporation. Must be willing to work seven days a week, long hours. Must have no other commitments – no family, second jobs, or school. Salary 100k a year plus expenses. Hand-delivered applications only.
No other commitments? I'm pretty sure that that’s the first thing a serial killer finds out about his intended victim; whether or not someone will be actively trying to find them after they go missing. I'm just saying. And 100k a year? What a cheapskate!

And who the fuck hires their mistress through their company? I mean, are you fucking kidding me? Maybe for tax reduction purposes, but still...Imagine actually working for that company:

Employee: 1 “So I saw an ad in the paper for a new position, I didn’t know we were hiring. Has a new position opened up?”

Employee 2: “Oh no, that’s just the boss looking for a new mistress.”

Employee 1: “ … Wait! What?”

Employee 2: “Oh, you haven’t heard about that yet? Yeah…He employs his mistresses though the company.”

Employee 1: “That’s disgusting! And everyone knows?”

Employee 2: “Well yeah, not like you can keep a thing like that a secret if you hire your mistress through your own company and don’t even try to be subtle about it. Plus he goes through mistresses like I go through beer. It's a common occurrence really.”

Employee 1: “I…can’t even…I mean. Is that legal?”

Employee 2: “Well… Suffice to say that there is an ongoing bet about that. Want to place a wager?”

Employee 1: *stares speechlessly*

Employee 3: “Hey, are you guys talking about the new personal assistant for the boss? *winks* I think applicant 23 has real potential… If you know what I mean.” *winks*

Employee 2: “Yeah, I would totally hire that!” *winks*

Employee 1: ”That is just disgusting! How do you know what that poor applicant looks like anyway?”

Employee 2: “What do you think? Since the boss only wants hand delivered applications, we can totally watch every applicant make their way to the boss’s offices.”

Employee 1: “I am beyond disgusted.”

Employee 2: “We call it ‘The Walk of Desperation’.”

Employee 1: *stares speechlessly*

Employee 3: “Well what do you expect from employees who are okay with their boss hiring his mistresses here and having them work for the company?” *winks*

Employee 1: “I no longer see my future with Palazzo Corporation.” *stands up and leaves*

Employee 3: “Told you she wouldn’t last long. ”

Employee 2: “Oh, well. Hey, looks like some new applicants have arrived!”

Employee 3: “Sweet!”

Employee 2 & Employee 3: *stands up and walks to the front desk*

This play was brought to you by my overactive imagination. It can be performed in any office type environment.

This was an Amazon freebie and not fucking worth it...and this review has become way too long, so: Just.No.Fucking.No.